Goddess for the Stone Age

In an article in September 2010 issue of Anthro Magazine, Professors Iris McCase and Philip DeGloss reveal the existence of the Shaka, a primitive tribe in Sub-Saharan Africa who worship a female deity that called "Sah-Rah Pah-Lan." "At first, we assumed it was merely a strange coincidence." reports Prof. McCase. "However, when tribal leaders proudly displayed their life-sized brightly painted idols we recognized the resemblance instantly. It was definitely Sarah Palin's likeness. They were kind enough to let us take photographs on a statue they had carved of their supreme goddess."

Carved figure of the White Goddess, Sah-Ra-Pa-Lan

"Since the construction of the Omigot Dam to the north of the area in the 1970s, the tribe has been cut off from all outside contact. Therefore we cannot attribute this coincidence to cultural cross-contamination." The Shaka have lived in their present primitive condition for the last thousand and have no wish to join the larger world. Their isolationist ideas are matched only by their aggressive attitudes to foreign interference. Strangely enough, the Shaka are not above forming gangs and raiding villages to obtain scarce resources.

Speaking through a translator, Tribal Chief Rik-ush LimBo told the investigators, "We worship the white goddess, Sah-Ra Pah-Lan. She is the Mother of the Universe and Bringer of all sweetness. We wish for her to come down from her throne in the sky and lead us."

"The Goddess Sah-Ra-Pah-Lan lives in a sky village called 'Wizz-Zalla'"

The similarities to the former politician, however, do not stop there. For example, according to the researchers, the Goddess Sah-Ra pah-lan lives in a sky village called Wizz-Zalla. According to Shaka mythology, the goddess lives with her companion Towad and her large half-human, half animal off-spring. Her brood fly around the village creating all sorts of mischief, according to the religious legends of the Shaka.

As Prof. DeGloss pointed out, "During many of the colorful dance rituals- which often include blood-letting and body-piercing- the entire tribe will gather in a huge circle, drop to the knees in a orgiastic frenzy and shout 'Oh, Ub Etcha.'" DeGloss and a team of anthropologists intend to return to the heavily forested region sometime before the end of 2012, when the tribe has promised to 'take the jungle back' from their long-despised enemies.

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