The Attack of Banana Man

Deputies arrest man in banana costume with shotgun By Paige Dickerson Peninsula Daily News PORT ANGELES -- A man in a child's banana costume and a friend were arrested after a string of events led Clallam County Sheriff's deputies to corner their car on Old Olympic Highway on Tuesday evening. Carlton Jeffery Kohnert, 21, who is apparently in the Marine Reserve, was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment, aiming or discharging a weapon and indecent exposure, said Clallam County Sheriff's Sgt. Randy Pieper. Police believe Kohnert -- fully costumed in the yellow banana costume -- exposed himself to a woman at the Port Angeles Wendy's restaurant and drove through Four Seasons Ranch brandishing a shotgun. Anthony Marks Maybury, 21, was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment. An 18-year-old woman was in the car with them, but Pieper did not name her because she was not arrested nor is she thought to be involved in any crimes. "The banana costume has been seized and put into evidence," Pieper said. "[Kohnert] couldn't really tell us why he was in the costume. "All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn't really have a reason for the costume." The Port Angeles Police Department received the first report about a costumed man at about 6 p.m., after he was seen at Wendy's, Pieper said. After leaving Wendy's in a Dodge Stratus, Kohnert -- the costumed man -- and Maybury drove to Saar's Market on U.S. Highway 101 on the east side of Port Angeles, Pieper said. "They then were called in for a car doing a burnout -- in other words pulling 360s in the Saar's Market parking lot," Pieper said. "They did not, it appears, get out at Saar's, though." After leaving Port Angeles, the group made a stop at Four Seasons Ranch, where Kohnert -- still dressed in the banana costume -- got out, brandished a shotgun and began yelling, Pieper said. "We believe he was yelling something or other about white supremacy," Pieper said.

That last sentence, I take it, was the punch line. Never one to leave well enough alone, I searched for a little bit more on Banana man and found this.

Carlton Kohnert, American Hero, Accused of Exposing Himself and Brandishing Shotgun All While Wearing Child's Banana Costume By Caleb Hannan Carlton Kohnert is living the American dream. According to his Facebook page, the Sequim native is young (21), engaged to be married and loves his life in the Marine Corps. (Listed under his favorite quotes is, "If grass hoppers had machineguns, birds wouldnt fuck with them.") Kohnert also allegedly enjoys a different sort of past-time:dressing up in a little kid's banana costume and wreaking havoc. Carlton Kohnert, seen here in something other than a banana costume. ​Port Angeles police first got a call about a man in a banana suit around 6 p.m. last night. The caller was at a Wendy's, where she said Kohnert had just exposed himself to a customer. Next came a call from a local department store, where Kohnert and his buddy were apparently doing 360s in the parking lot in a Dodge Stratus. The final emergency call came shortly after from a local ranch, where Kohnert -- still in a banana suit, mind you -- allegedly got out of his car holding a shotgun and started talking some gibberish about white supremacy. We're not sure who delivered the rebuttal to this persuasive argument. But sources say Kohnert's contention of intellectual superiority could have easily been disputed had anyone bothered to simply point at him and say, "I rest my case." Eventually, Clallam County sheriff's deputies cornered Kohnert and his buddy and arrested the Marine for investigation of reckless endangerment, aiming or discharging a weapon and indecent exposure. "[Kohnert] couldn't really tell us why he was in the costume," said one of the arresting deputies. "All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn't really have a reason for the costume." Quit digging officer, you already struck oil. Looking for logic in this case is going to leave you a very frustrated man. I think you've got all the answers you're ever going to need in that "drinking earlier in the day" comment.

Is this some kind of weird form of war-related post traumatic shock syndrome? You know, it's sad and quite a comment on my own weirdness, but the only thing that absolutely shocked me was the fact it was a child's banana costume. Go figure..