Thursday, March 24, 2011

Tripping with the Aliens


Alarming eyewitness accounts collected from all over the world suggest that Sarah Palin's daughter may be the target of alien extortion. As one investigator put it, "They will not stop til they have Bristol's baby, Tripp." The eldest of the three daughters of Sarah Palin, the failed vice-presidential candidate and half-term governor, Bristol gave birth to the baby boy on 27 December 2008.

The reports speak of belligerent gray aliens probing their unwilling victims with devices and asking about the Palins, specifically about Bristol and her child.

Widow Natalie Drest, 65, told our reporter about her harrowing encounter in her Nova Scotia home. "I was sitting in my living room watching 'Dancing with the Stars' with my three old Pekingese, Shelly. I noticed the strangest greenish glow coming from outside the window. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by these four creatures. Tall and grey and blank expressions.

"I could feel my body start to rise in the air and I tried to scream but I must have passed out. I don't remember how I got inside their ship but there I was, laying on a table. I was completely naked and they had this long silver tube and they were trying to put it in my ear. I wanted to fight back but there wasn't anything i could do. I kept saying, 'Why are you doing this to me!?' One of them came forward and he put his hand on my face and I heard his voice in my head. The voice said, 'We've come for the baby of Bristol Palin.' I was really scared. "You mean the dancer?" I asked them. And they nodded."

Following a late night shift, cocktail waitress Jenna Tollz in Huntington, Utah, says she was taken aboard a UFO in the early morning hours of August 2010. The twenty-four year old says she was probed and examined for hours. "Alls I remember is they kept asking me if my name was Bristol. I told them my name but they seem certain that I was the one they were looking for."They told me that they are looking for Sarah Palin. I thought it was a joke of some kind. I was sort of surprised they even knew who she was." "

Handyman Rick O'Shae of Crowley England told our correspondent that he was abducted while driving home from church on Christmas Eve of 2010. "The alien spacecraft hovered in the air in front of my car without a sound. I stepped out of the car and started to move forward but then suddenly it was like I was frozen in place. The next thing I remember I was inside of the UFO. I could hear them speaking but it was weird because it was like they was in my head."

"They told me to give Sarah Palin a message from the Planet Kenox in the Jenorite Gaxlaxy. They told me to tell her that they had come to take Bristol's baby to their home planet. That's all they said. They had to our planet for that Palin baby."

UFO investigator Dick Fitzwell suspects a secret collaboration between Sarah Palin and aliens from outer space He suggests there must be some kind of connection between Sarah Palin's inexplicable popularity and the aliens. "I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't some kind of mind control going on. We know they must be pretty advanced so why shouldn't they have the power to control our minds and make us think the way they want?"

He adds, "Now they are looking for their pay, I guess."

The Palin family has issued no statement regarding the mysterious alien demands, leading some to suspect that they know more than they are telling.

Disclaimer: Nomadic View makes no claim to the accuracy of any of the Sarah Palin posts. Many have asked how much if any of the articles are based on truth and to this our standard reply is this: These posts are primarily meant to be a source of entertainment. Nomadic View does not and has never claimed to be a news organization, fair and balanced or otherwise.

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