Things Your Mother Would Never Say

1. Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me.
2. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
   
3. Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.
4. Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look more cheery.
5. Let me smell that shirt. OK, it's good for another week.
6. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
7. Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve.
8. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.
   It's not like I'm running a prison around here.
9. I don't have a tissue with me - just use your sleeve.
10. Aw, just turn these undies inside out. No one will ever know.
11. Run and bring me the scissors! Hurry!
12. I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity.
13. Could you turn the music up louder so I can enjoy it, too?
14. That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
15. Why don't you hitchhike? It would certainly be cheaper.

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