Thursday, May 5, 2011

Tommy Cooper's Jokes

A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.'
Man says, Why?  The doctor says, 'I don't like my neighbors'


'Went to the doctors - he said "You've got four minutes to live" I said "Is there anything you can give me?" He said "A boiled egg?"'


I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'


A man goes to the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist says: 'What's the problem?' The man says, 'I think I'm becoming a kleptomaniac. 'The psychiatrist says, 'Here take these tablets and if you're no better in a week' ..... 'Bring me a color TV'.


  1. Well I never imagined I'd see an American appreciating Tommy Cooper! What a legend! This post brings back memories of my late father who adored Tommy Cooper and went to see his live performances many times. Thanks for giving me a good laugh xx

  2. It's not as though Americans would never appreciate his kind of humor. There were a lot of one-liner comedians like that in the states. But I had never heard of him until I stumbled across him online.

    Actually come to think of it, I don't remember how I got to him but I think I went to the wrong Tommy Cooper because the tweet said, Tommy Cooper RIP- so I thought he had died recently.
    Well, after I enjoyed his jokes, my curiosity got the better of me and I then learned about his on-stage death. Yes, I saw the youtube clip of it. I suppose that how he would have wanted it in the end. To go out to the sound of people yukking it up.

  3. That is absolutely the way he would have wanted to go! His attempts at conjuring/magic tricks were hysterical...they always went wrong. In fact many years ago he opened a practical joke shop in a town near us which used to be run by his brother. the shop was a magnet for us kids! Great memories!

  4. One time I did a magic show for a talent show and all my tricks turned out like that. It was NOT intentional but I guess it was very amusing to the audience. Especially when I had the audacity to INSIST that the Jack of Hearts really was his card. Ugh. My stomach still turns when I think about it.

  5. I remember Tommy Cooper very well. Very funny.

    Here's on for you:

    I went to the doctor. He said 'you've got a very serious illness'.
    I said 'I want a second opinion'.
    He said 'all right, you're ugly as well'.




  6. I love this kind of old-fashioned, one-liner ba-dah-bah! kind of humor. Thanks!


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