A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.'
Man says, Why? The doctor says, 'I don't like my neighbors'
'Went to the doctors - he said "You've got four minutes to live" I said "Is there anything you can give me?" He said "A boiled egg?"'
I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'
A man goes to the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist says: 'What's the problem?' The man says, 'I think I'm becoming a kleptomaniac. 'The psychiatrist says, 'Here take these tablets and if you're no better in a week' ..... 'Bring me a color TV'.