Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Ugly Couch Contest Winners

At the risk of being virtually pelted with rotten tomatoes by proud Turkish readers, I have to say I have seen some really ugly furniture in Turkish showrooms. They are generally quite functional and in fact, they all seemed designed to act rather like a  second horizontal closet and a bed, in the likely event,  a busload of relatives shows up at the door. I guess, for me,  most of the "yick" factor comes with the choice of upholstery and all the very sharp edge to some of the designs.

Yet, nothing I've seen in Turkey can compare to some of the things I saw on a site called "The Ugliest Couch in the World Contest"


Here is the winner entry for 2010. Not only unattractive in the extreme, it also looks uncomfortable. Just imagine the noises your tush would make on that at the slightest movement. Who would have buy such a thing? Those high backs look as though the designer couldn't decide whether it was going to be a chair or a sofa. Is it cover in plastic or is that vinyl? The floral print adds a feminine touch but the polished gleam of the arms, seating and trim suggest hot rods and motorcycles.

In any case, it's safe to say, I think, the title of ugliest couch is well-deserved. It was a close race because take a look at this entry.

That's a runner up. It looks like a pastry that collapsed in the oven. Definitely for the basement rumpus room- (with all new wood paneling!). I think it would go well with those globe swag lamps you saw at Craigslist.  I mean, like this.

Add lime green shag carpeting and the trestle coffee table (with cigarette burns) and you got Home Décor 1973. 

Going back to some of the other entries from years back, check out this sunrise-flame orange glory. 

It just screams pre-Manson California  doesn't it? It's held up well through the ravages of time. The cushions are a bit flattened out from all those pool-boy shenanigans. But it calls to mind a bygone era. Shelly Winters in leopard prints, Valley of the Dolls, platinum Gabor wigs, sheer loungewear from Fredericks and Polynesian cocktails in the afternoon.

Turning to another entry from the past, we have this comedy pair. It sort of looks like it was made for a family of rodeo clowns. This is the kind of furniture that movers loathe. It must require a crane to lift and move around. 


If you see anything truly awe-inspiringly atrocious, be sure to discreetly snap a photo or two and send  to the site. Who knows you could be a winner.

Here are the entry rules (read by the Marvelous Talking Sofa, Johnny Awful.)


  1. Hahaha! You have to see the 2003 winner, though. : )


  2. Wow, it must have been painful even writing about those couches, but you've managed it with aplomb!

    I admit I like the green globe lamp-- I have a thing about lamps-- but that whole room in the last photo, to which the couch is the crowning touch-- the wallpaper! The carpet! That doll-thingy on the shelf! The paintings! Why?-- it's going to turn up in my nightmares someday.

  3. Good gracious, that 2003 winner looks positively carnivorous! Furniture for "The Little Shop of Horrors."

  4. @Stranger
    I rather like globe lamps too. I don't think they would be very handy in an earthquake zone, of course. It'd be my fate to be featured in one of the small news items. One with the headline, "One Death in Turkey Tremor: Man Pummeled by Lamp"

  5. Yeah, but if you feel a tremor you're not sure about and you don't have a glass of water nearby, the globe lamp will surely tell you whether it was a little earthquake or not...


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