| Wasilla, Alaska-- Is Bigfoot stalking Sarah Palin? That's the big question in the small town of Wasilla, Alaska, hometown of the failed vice-presidential candidate and half term governor of the state. "We' just thought it was another false alarm. We get a lot of calls, you know. But then we saw the tracks and thought this isn't just paranoia this time, said Officer Clyde McGulligan."We traced the footprints right up to the back door of the house. It's Bigfoot all right. Even Todd doesn't have feet that large." On 4 June 2010, around 3 in the morning, local police officers who were in charge of a stake-out, noticed unusual activity on the Palin premises. "At first, we thought it might be a female grizzly come down from the mountains in search of food. Also, female grizzlies often have a misplaced maternal sense which can get them into all kinds of trouble." However, what they saw next was no wild bear. " At first, we heard this pathetic mewing sound, like a lost kitten or something so we patrolled the area. Then, all the sudden, there is was. It must have been seven or eight foot tall and covered in shaggy hair. I remember it smelled like animal feces. But I think most of all I'll remember those eyes. Bright yellow." The two officers were so stunned by what they had stumbled up, they were frozen. "I admit it. I couldn't draw my weapon. I couldn't even speak. We all just stood there looking at each other. I think it was as shocked as we were." After a few seconds, the creature turned and jogged into the forest, but not before, leaping over the the 12- foot barricade fence that surrounds the compound. Another source, who worked as security for the Palin family but wished to remain anonymous, stated that this wasn't the only time the creature had been spotted. "I know it sounds crazy but this thing- whatever it was- seemed to be drawn to the Palin family. It would be around every other weekend. I don't think it means any harm." Even scientists who have investigated the Bigfoot phenomenon for decades are perplexed by the behavior of the beast. They offer only one possible explanation. "We suspect it must be the mating season for Bigfoot. Perhaps there is something that he finds attractive about the ex-governor. At this point, we can't imagine what that might be." |
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LOL- Very funny.
ReplyDeleteI love the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what Big Foot find so appealing about her, either!